WoW! So I am obviously not very good at blogging but sometimes I just need to say a few things. :)
Stevie and I are first year students at Victory School of Supernatural Ministry. Every Tuesday night we spend 3-1/2 hours having our hearts rocked by God and other students!
Anyways, one question from our homework was:
Why does God choose not to control us?
I think sometimes we secretly long to be controled. For the Lord, to tell us exactly what we should do, when we should do it and who we should do it for. Or maybe that is just me.
So, why does God not control us because love creates FREEDOM! Freedom to make our own choices, to be our own people. God is not afraid of your mistakes and He is not afraid to offer you freedom.
I am currently listening to this teaching series, Loving your kids on purpose by Danny Silk that is rocking my mom world. And it made me change the above question to this:
Why does Jessica choose not to control Jacob?
Because just to be really real, I am such a controlling mom. To the point, I am the cause of Jacob's anxiety and I was clueless! CLUELESS! OK, OK , OK! No one needs to say how I am a great mother, I know that, I am an awesome mom! An awesome mom that can receive conviction from the Lord, repent, and make the choice to love in a way that creates freedom.
Anyways, so I love Jacob so much that I have given him freedom to manage himself even if that means he is going to make mistakes. Why? Because I love him and I don't want to control him by the fear of him making a mistake but by the consequence.
So, can I tell a difference in Jacob? ABSOLUTELY! He like actually shares with me now. His dreams and worries. He is 80% more open with me then he ever was. We have a relationship now where he manages himself and I manage myself by not being a control freak. (Disclaimer: I thought I was going to have a heartattack the other day, sometimes it is a little hard for me to keep by mouth shut. I am sure that suprises most of you.) Love creates freedom which give us the freedom to be intimate, to have a real relationship.
So all that to say! God doesn't control you, he loves you, dream and live in Freedom!
God created you to be you, not to control and form you into something you are not!
BE YOU! BE FREE! DREAM BIG!
jess
